How to make Red Oak blond/tan question...

Barry
I guess I don't necessarily understand the term "blonder".  If this means less color, then I would think bleaching is the way.  I have experience with that.
If you can add color, then a bit of green tint in a sealant layer will reduce the red tones significantly.

Henry

I had some white oak out of a tree that fell on my rental house and I built my son a MCM credenza out of it and fumed it, making it sort of caramel colored.  

Used most of the white oak and then had the red oak cut out of the tree in our front yard that died.  So I have lots of red oak that has some sentimental value, at least to me.  So my DIL asked for a dining room table.  It turns out their house has a huge amount of red oak flooring and they will have it refinished, probably dark brown. She does not want the table to blend with the flooring and is looking for contrast.  Specifically, get rid of the reddish color.  

I have ordered some "Precolor" from the makers of Rubio Monocoat that has a slight greenish tint and a little white in it designed to turn red oak into white oak.  We will see.

I am also thinking about Jim's suggestion of wood bleach.

I had a customer who wanted me to match oak trim that was very light in color. White oak was too brown but a white wood stain did the trick. I don't know what white pigment was in it but stain would be easy to try.

I have a table from the 1940s that is white oak with a limed finish. White lime was packed into the pores and a clear finish was applied. It looked a lot like the picture below when I was a child but by now most of the original finish is gone.

The product to do that is called "liming wax".  Although usually used as a wax finish, it can be "sealed in" with a coat of super blond dewaxed shellac and then finished as usual with film finishes like poly-u.

Here are some tips for making red oak lighter and less reddish in color for furniture projects:

• Use a wood bleach to lighten the natural reddish tones. Oxalic acid solutions or two-part wood bleaches work well. Test on scrap first.

• Apply a wood conditioner before staining to limit absorption and allow a lighter stain color. Many conditioners reduce reddish undertones.

• Stain with a golden oak, maple, or birch colored stain rather than a red oak shade. Gel stains control color.

• Dye the wood before staining - yellow, golden brown, and maple dyes counteract redness.

• Use a glaze over stained wood for an extra tone-on-tone effect. For example a vanilla or golden oak glaze.

• Finish with a clear topcoat like polyurethane. Water-based is clearer than oil-based. Multiple coats maximize clarity.

• Add a whitewash or pickled finish using white paint/stain mixed with water to get a washed out, beachy look.

• Bleaching may be needed for a truly light color since oak has such strong warm undertones naturally.

Sample boards are helpful to dial in the right coloring effect. With the right combo of techniques you can minimize the strong red hues.