Chair Abuse
William Duffield, on the Cohansey
>There oughta be a law against this kind of domestic abuse...
As you all are probably aware, one of the things that pushes me off the deep end is carpenters and other HG Network types who think a hammer, half a brain, and a bucket of paint is all that is needed to restore a chair. Don't people realize that Ed and Joe (Full Metal Tack Strip) should not be taken any more seriously than Bud and Lou (Who's on First)?
I was taking this one apart this afternoon, because it was loose and one tenon on one rung was broken. I should have known better. I should have just burnt it, but there's probably lead in the paint. Subconsciously, I think I did know better, because I had been putting off this repair for several months. Upon disassembling the first joint, I found this:
Yup, that's one of those WMDs they used to use to bash together screen doors. On the Cohansey, they know that any door so joined would be no more effective against greenheads than against Dr. Morbius' id. I extracted half a dozen of them, in as many former joints.
My apologies for recently chastising one of our esteemed contributors for tightening up chair joints with mere toothpicks.
Tomorrow, I think this one will get the 105-205-406 treatment. Don't try this at home! I've decided this one's not worth the effort to take off the krackle paint to get back to something resembling the original finish. If it were, I would seriously consider using hide glue and many layers of veneer to rebuild the joints.