OT Message on Grief, Community Service and Living
John Foster
Today is the internment service for my cousin who passed away a week and a half ago at the age of 67. He was my closest cousin geographically and socially.
I have been thinking a lot about his life since his passing and I am sure that many of my thoughts could be related to by the group here.
He worked his whole career (not yet retired) at the same mid sized factory where he was production manager, safety trainer and general go-to-person, he never had a new car, he lived his whole married life in the same big old yellow brick house, he never took a long overseas vacation etc. etc.
He was however a long time volunteer fire fighter and local station chief, he was many times volunteer of the year for the local fall fair committee, even though he was not in the service he was one of the backbones that kept the small local Legion going. Late at night he would be called on to repair farm equipment, motor coaches, tractor trailers and even called into other factories to fix a break down. Most of all he was a loving husband and the father of three successful children who share his life view. My immediate thought when I heard of his passing was to feel sorry for him that he had never "grabbed his share of the pie" , as I have reflected since his passing, I believe that I shouldn't feel sorry for him, and that he probably feels sorry for everyone out there who wasted their lives paying for nice houses and cars and vacations.
On the night of his passing he, another fellow and I were working at the arena in town on a small repair job. He left saying he was not feeling well. The other guy and I finished up and went home not knowing that he died of a severe aneurism very shortly after he left us. We have been in a period of very warm weather since his death and I have been biking to work lately, I got into my truck this morning and was overcome with grief when I realized that the cab was still full of the tools we had been using that night that I have never put away.
For me the moral of the story is live the life you want, build community, forget about keeping up with the Jones'.