Ol' Yeller Gone
Ellis Walentine
>
OL' YELLER
(1985?-2007)
Spokesman Brian Murphy today reported the passing of Ol� Yeller of Ottsville, Pa. Mr. Yeller had been in declining health ever since a fall in a job-related accident some six or seven years ago. Despite the injuries incurred (broken antenna, cracked case, tuning issues), he continued to be a daily companion to Murphy on jobs throughout the Bucks County area.
He will be sorely missed. �He�s been with me for over twenty years, and was always the first tool out of the truck�, reported Brian, �It won�t be the same without him.� Murphy, in his search for distant and weak stations, would spend hours finely tuning in obscure programs such as Mr. Mark on WMUH, or Jumpin� With JB on WNTI, believing that no other radio was capable of such impeccable reception.
However, that first fated fall was not the last. In the interim, Mr. Yeller endured several such falls, resulting in; an internal power disruption, an operation to permanently disconnect his stuck tuner, and several more fractured antennae. But it was none of these that brought him down permanently. �I think he just gave up the will to live�, said Murphy, �He and I had been separated for several months.�
On Tuesday of this week, Murphy attempted to jolt Mr. Yeller with 110V, to no avail. The on/off button was pressed several times and then Mr. Yeller was dropped unceremoniously into a trashcan. �I felt I had to appear �macho� in front of my little brother, Kevin�, Murphy said. Mr. Yeller languished for a full day in the trashcan before being hauled out to the curb. Murphy had begun to feel badly as soon as his old friend hit the Glad bag, and had to force himself many times from retrieving him.
On reflection, after a trip in his truck that evening, Murphy thought better of it and, by the light of his Ford Ranger, drug Mr. Yeller out from under the accumulated trash. �I felt he needed a proper going away, and (sniff) I never had a chance to say goodbye to him.� Murphy said. And so tomorrow, after his death photograph is taken, Mr. Yeller, along with a collection of transformers which were being kept as donors for him, will be laid to rest.
In his grief, Mr. Murphy said, �He�ll never be replaced, but I think that Grundig s350dl I ordered online today is going to try like �h-e- double-toothpicks� (that's hell, to you).�