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Ebay - Gotta Love It...

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Ebay - Gotta Love It...

#1

Ebay - Gotta Love It...

Tom MacGregor

>The following are quoted directly from handplane descriptions and titles on ebay. The comments are obviously mine.

1) �Wood Plane With A Metal Blade�

So far so good. That kind works a whole lot better than a metal plane with a wood blade.

2) �This is a nice old plain.�

Guess it ain�t one �o them fancy ones.

3) �This plane is in good condition and has rust on it.�

You don�t want to know what the one in bad condition has on it.

4) �4 Star Rating�

Michelin got tired of just evaluating hotels and restaurants.

5) �It has rust on it but it looks like it�s supposed to be that way.�

Tell the Plant Manager to check up on Quality Control immediately!

6) �It has a red handle and that�s all I know about it.�

Gotta give him credit for being honest.

7) �I didn�t clean it.�

Judging from the photo it would have taken a very long time.

8) �Wooden handle has a crack that was spablized by the master craftsman that originally owned the plain.�

Nice to know that if I ever have to spablize a plain handle I can just knot a strip of cloth around it.

9) �This is an antique rabbit plane.�

Enough of these get listed that I think you used to be able to get a job as a Rodent Flattener.

10) �Has no blade. A nice item for the collector.�

Assuming you collect planes without blades.

And my favorite description (of a common transitional):

11) �The early settlers of the Midwest made these to do their craft work.�

Apparently they were all named Bailey.

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

#2

Rodent Flattener -... Gotta Love It...

Scott Burr in Ben Lomond, CA

>You forgot "Barn Fresh", "Super Rare", "Fine Condition" and "One of a kind"

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

#3

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

Skip in Falls Church

>"1) �Wood Plane With A Metal Blade�

So far so good. That kind works a whole lot better than a metal plane with a wood blade."

I actually saw one person advertising a wood plane *with a wooden blade* - their emphasis, not mine.

Skip-

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

#4

Barn fresh...

jim reed @ tallahassee

>Barn fresh is my favorite. I have spent lots of time in horsebarns and have yet to see *anything* worthwhile that is FRESH. To me, *barn fresh* is the stuff I had to shovel out.

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

#5

ROTFL ! Someone FINALLY collected them !

s.mackay@worldnet.att.net

>

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

#6

Re: Ebay - Gotta Love It...

Paul Kierstead

>Great stuff! Very amusing indeed. Kind of reminds me of real estate ads. When I bought my first house, it too me some time to decode the language; like, for example, "executive" most definitely did not mean "big", and "cozy", well...

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