Body by Tage
Dave Thompson - Champaign IL
>I wrote and posted this a couple years back on the Pond, and just ran across it going through some old files.... reposted for your amusement.
Body by Tage(tm) workout system
I have an idea for a new workout system. My working name is �Total Body by Tage�, but am also considering �Tage-Bo�. I�m targeting people that have been disenchanted by workout methods and machines that stretch rubber bands, run/ski in place getting no where, or in short are tired of non-productive repetitive exertions.
I�ve been thinking about an infomercial describing this full upper and lower body workout. Taping will take place in a modern Victorian reproduction wood paneled room full of beautiful furniture. In the center of the room and staggered are traditional European workbenches. At each workbench will be buff cheery smiling women in bikinis holding bench planes with rough sawn lumber clamped down on the bench. Upbeat music with a tempo matching timing for a plane swipe will be playing. The program will go through techniques on how to strengthen triceps, pectoral muscles, deltoid, biceps, lats and abdominal muscle groups etc. At each workbench is a person at each stage of the workout program. Tiffany starts with her Stanley A3 and is planing her cedar plank. Xena at the other end is using her LN8 planing a 12/4 plank of hard maple. In the back, there�s a clean cut token guy smiling while using his molding plane working on his crown molding. To break up the repetition, the host starts doing biceps curls with her #4 1/2H. Later, the host shows how to focus on the abdominal by standing in one place and planing with a body twisting motion. Tiffany shows off how to strengthen hand muscles by regrinding bevels on her plane blade by SS(tm) method, and then later runs in place holding a #9 1/4 in one hand and a #60 � in the other..
During workout breaks, Xena shows off her solid teak armoire that she�s finished in the last episode
In the middle of the infomercial, we�ll pan to Norm Abrams back at his workshop wearing plaid flannel. His face is beaming with a Porter Cable power hand planer in hand, and says, �I guess I�ll be sellin the drum sandah�.
I�ll have testimonials... �I never thought I could get a full body workout, and make money selling S4S lumber!� Another, �I feel great, and completely decorated my arts & craft style house while doing it!�.
I figure it�ll appeal to young people who are still interested in looking buff, and are short on furniture in their new house or apartment after having worn out their first set of Ikea.
I�m hoping to get LN and Ulmia to donate some equipment as initial sponsors. In between workout breaks we�ll insert commercials in the infomercial selling the Total Body by Tage(tm) workout package. The luxury package comes with an Ulmia cabinetmaker�s bench and a bronze LN#3. The intro package comes with a Sloberg compact bench and a Stanley #12-204. Both come with a rough sawn slab of basswood.