Skip Beardsley
As far as sharpeners go, I am a fan of the One way Wolverine system with the Vari grind jig. ( One Way Manufacturing in Canada. Available from Craft Supplies ) It is soooo.... important to learn how to sharpen, tools in order to be a good turner. This system is easy to understand and gives repeatable grinds every time. I hope you are able to connect with a club and find someone to mentor you. As far as a grinder in concerned, I like eight inch slow speed but if there is a six inch one around certainly use it.
I have made most of my tools so don't have much experience with store bought tools. Russ Fairfield, who used to be a contributer here, he has since passed away, told me that in his opinion the Benjamin's Best Brand was a good place to start. The eight piece set will give all the basic tools and they are not too expensive, so not much to loose. Available at Penn State Industries. I think it depends on what you plan to turn. As far a bowl gouges go I feel you can't do any better than Doug Thompson tools. I have two of them and am about to buy at least two more.
I would suggest you search through the archives here for information about your concerns and interests. Most of the questions you have have been discussed here and in the articles.
Happy to have you in the turning community. Just remember... be safe and wear a face shield, at the least.
Skip