Turning Archive 2005

Subject:
What to do with this branch?

Mike Schwing from Md.
>I don't have a picture of it, its just a common 4" thick black cherry branch, but I need to do something with it.

Here's why.

2 Fridays ago I had a colonoscopy at 8:30am (I'm fine as it turns out). My Dad brought me home at about 10:30. I then took a little nap to sleep off the effects of the general anesthesia, which left me lightheaded and a little disoriented.

Woke up at about noon, and probably still suffering from impaired judgement, I decided to take my 2 golden retrievers for a walk in the woods just a few hundred yards from my house.

While in the woods, the 4" thick tree branch in question fell out of the canopy above and konked me on the head, knocking me totally unconscious! I didn't hear it coming, didn't hear a crack, just remember a pain and then I came to lying on the ground, with my youngest dog licking the blood from my gushing head. (it was turning out to be quite a day)

I stumbled around and figured out that this branch had fallen on my head, and then stumbled out of the woods probably looking like something from a horror movie.

Still not thinking clearly, and home alone, I had a momentary thought that I perhaps cracked my skull, but decided that another nap would be a fine idea, but first had to post about it on my fishing buddies' website. Woke up a bit later, showered the blood off of my head and spent the rest of the evening with an intense headache, but everything's fine.

I'm thinking it might have been a payback for slicing up his befallen neighbor just 100 feet away. I have sometimes worried about stuff falling on me during windy days, guess it wasn't misplaced.

Now what would you do with this branch? I gotta make something out of it, and hopefully make it suffer at the same time.

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