Turning Archive

instrument/musician jokes

John K Jordan
I liked the dumpster one. All these jokes and more are used with ____________. (fill in the blank with almost any instrument.)

For example, I heard a bunch while playing French Horn in an orchestra - most were all about saxophones. Of course the woodwind section probably used the same jokes with "French Horn" substituted. :-)

Q: How do you get a _____________ player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose.

Q: What do you call a ___________ player with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What's the difference between a _______ and a chain saw?
A: The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
A: The exhaust.

Q: What do ____________ players use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What is the difference between a ________ player and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Just search google for "musical instrument jokes".
For example, http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/other-instrument-jokes.html
Insulting musicians is apparently more "politically correct" than insulting ethnic groups.

JKJ (now learning the ukulele)

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