TomD
I think a third thing one should consider is that nobody has a professional editor here. I spend at least as much time editing as I do composing, I am embarrassed to say. But I don't have unlimited time to consider every phrase from the point of every person who has ever posted here, or may ever post here in the future. One thing I am particularly prone to is formating my points in me/you terms. I then go through the text to take out all the "yous" so it won't sound like I am putting words in people's mouths. But I don't always remember or get everything.

I once read that Margarette Thatcher was seen as confrontational because her handlers had convinced her she would sound authoritative if she spoke with a lowered voice. This lead her to finish phrases with a raise in tone. This is interpreted by others as a cue asking them to enter the conversation, but she had not finished. So she would end up raising her voice to finish her point. This looked like she was tring to talk over people for no reason: Even the pros have a hard time interpreting the cues that would set someone off. It isn't always a shot. Sometimes we just don't say it the way someone else wants to have it said.